Freeing the Spirit

Who do you want to be?

The answer keeps weighing on my mind.

I want to be skinnier. Stronger. Have more stamina. More energy to run through open fields, and climb through difficult hiking trails, reaching new peaks…

I want to have long, thick, luxurious hair.

To feel sunshine on my face.

I want to dance with flowing skirts. I want to wriggle my toes in dirt and sand.

I want to smile and mean it. I want to let go.

To be free.

And for the longest time, I’ve told myself that I cannot get there until I accomplish x, y, z. This time around, it was my weight. Last time, it was stability. Before, it was something else.

My spirit has been begging to be free for years. And I’ve told it time and time again, wait…

It’s sick of waiting.

So I’m throwing out my map.

I’m throwing out the destination. I’m throwing out everything I think I know, and I’m starting new.

The past is nothing. There is only now.

The future is uncertain. There is only now.

There. Is. Only. Now.

And I’ll be damned if I live my life questioning instead of discovering answers. I’ll be damned if I live my life limiting myself instead of becoming limitless.

I will not settle with life, because it’s the only life I have. I only get one try.

This is the next step of my journey. I’m on the cliff edge, staring at the water below. I’m leaping, and I might swim or sink – but at the very least my heart is racing on the way down.

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