“Are you happy?”
I turned to my fiancé, whose eyes gleamed with concern. My eyebrows furrowed together, and I felt angry, hurt, and confused.
“Yes, I am. Why do you ask that?”
He was seeing what I was not. Or rather, what I was turning a blind eye to. I would wake up irritable, struggling to roll out of bed. I would go to work. I would come home drained, at times sitting on the couch staring blankly ahead. I was burnt out.
While the majority of my routine has remained the same, this week things are different. I have committed to putting myself first. I am utilizing my Passion Planner more consistently and effectively, and ensuring I am spending time on the things that mean the most to me. What has been my top priority for months that I have not been getting to?
I have fitness goals. Health goals. And I have continued to neglect myself – over and over and over again – prioritizing anything else.
This week, I reached the point where I could no longer tolerate doing this to myself. I realized that sitting and doing nothing to work toward what mattered to me was not going to make me happy. To have a beer or some ice-cream (while in the moment may have seemed like a good idea to unwind with) was not the solution. On a whim, I decided that for the month of October – 31 days – I would do my absolute best to get moving again.
In just the past two days, the difference has been huge. I feel much more fulfilled. I feel happier. Even better, I feel healthier. I feel more hopeful of becoming the person I want to be. While I know this is a lifelong journey, taking the first step seemed to be the hardest part for me. I am not going to give up on my dreams, or myself. I have one body to make this incredible journey with, and it is about time it has gotten some love.
Currently, I am doing the 31 Day Challenge through Tone It Up. So far it has been great! I previously tried the app (with the Studio subscription) and it did not really stick… But this time around it feels much better. It is so easy to get caught up in wondering if you’re doing the “right” workouts, eating the “right” things, or if the effort you’re exerting is going to yield the “best” results. In reality, the most important thing is that you try – you give your best effort, and find what works for you.
I am finding my way, slowly but surely. And let this be a reminder that while you can devote all your time smashing goals, it is so important to stay true to yourself and take care of yourself. If you put everything else before yourself, there is no way you can be happy. And if you’re not happy, what’s the point?