I had intended on going to the gym today.
Yet here I am, sitting at home as it rains outside, typing here instead. I told myself I needed to relax, I needed to recharge, that I was exhausted and could barely keep my eyes open… And yet I am doing this now. I convinced myself it was for self care – that I have a sleep deficit, and that I need to catch up on some z’s. I convinced myself that maybe I could do something else, like write on my blog, or work on updating my resume.
Sitting here now, I realize I should have just gone to the gym. Because I found every excuse to not go, masked in “treat yourself” or “productive” fashion. I self-sabotaged. And I know I am not the only one that does this.
I decided I was too wiped out from work that I do not enjoy, to go do something that will make me feel better and give me endorphins and endless benefits. How silly is that? How is it that our brains are so clever in making these self-sabotaging excuses that are just so convincing at the time, to leave us feeling ashamed after?
Now that I am home, I suppose I can make the most of it and try to cross off more things on my to-do list. But I am looking at tomorrow with narrow eyes – my focus is to achieve what I committed to. No matter what.