For anyone who has been through traumatic experiences, I am hoping you can relate to – as well find solace in – this post.
For as long as I can remember, I have always loved to write. Writing, for the sake of writing, has been my favorite thing to do since the 3rd grade. Other hobbies came and went, but writing was always there.
My dream was to be an author, but as I grew older, I felt it was rather unattainable. It was not realistic. I still took the time to enjoy writing, but then high school happened.
During my sophomore and junior years of high school, I was in a series of toxic and abusive relationships. I was left a hollow shell of myself, and had given up on all writing endeavors. My writing was not “good enough.” I was not “good enough.” I lived in this stagnant manner for approximately seven years. I had no sense of confidence. I had no sense of self. And I wandered the world this way for years.
But, you are reading this now. Recently, I reconnected with my spirit. My true self. And the urge to write – solely for the sake of writing – has finally come back. I am borderline on the verge of tears, as this has been a huge barrier for so long… It feels as if I am back in 3rd grade, writing on lined paper and creating page after page. Not to impress anyone. Not even for grading. But because I enjoyed it.
I am so grateful for WordPress existing, and for them creating a platform for writing/community. I am so grateful to have found myself again, and to be pursuing my dreams as a writer one small step at a time.
It took me years to come back. I felt as if it would never come, that part of me was dead forever. But here I am, typing away.
If you have been feeling something similar, stuck in a rut…there is hope. Take your time to heal. You will come back, better than before.